Tonight it was wet and windy. I was tired and grumpy from work and my ears were stinging from coming home in the cold.
I got in, I got changed, I sneaked a spoonful of peanut butter and I went out in the cold dark wet for a run.

If I achieve nothing else in 2014 I am satisfied with this victory over my own laziness.

something I wrote a while ago on my page, all of it still true!

jenwithpinktoes:

  1. They will give you free water every few miles, there’s no need to carry any
  2. 26.2 miles is actually 42KM, 138336 feet or 46112 yards. It’s a really long way.
  3. Take your best friend with you, they will cheer you on, say funny stuff and share in your achievement
  4. You are not going to do it in…

A year on.

Yeah, it’s a year this month since I joined the gym, I thought a little reflection might be in order. 

Well I’ve learned plenty and am doing nothing like the work outs I started with a year ago. I never splashed out on the personal training sessions or anything, I just watched, and I read and I researched and more than anything I tried. I tried new stuff, old stuff, strength camp stuff, yoga stuff. I did mixed cardio and light resistance high reps. I did high intensity interval training. I did body weight stuff, I ran, I lifted, I jogged, I inclined. 

Now, a year on, I have a much better handle on my diet which is a big part of everything but I have to confess, this has only been in full force the last couple of months. According to the scales my weight went way up then back down again but my clothes fit better, I can walk up that bitch of a hill after work every night without stopping (or sometimes even noticing) and after a couple of billion squats I’m starting to see signs of having some kind of butt. Yay. My road running is still pretty much shit, due to achey knees and a frankly poor attitude to going out after work. It’s too cold/hot/humid/rainy. You know how it goes. I have much less pain from my duff foot-leg-hip combo too which is a massive plus, and a motivator as if I lay off the workouts I start to feel the old twinges pretty quickly.

I’ve learned that a work out doesn’t wipe out the after effects of a pizza and that a good play list is essential to success.

I’ve learned that I hate HIIT and exercise bikes.

I’ve learned I can get through a lot more body weight exercises than I thought I could and that crunches are for pussies.

I’ve learned that squats are amazing and no matter how daft you look, you should do them. 

My biggest lesson right now, and the one I will carry with me into year two is that if you can lift a weight through more than 6 reps, you need to be lifting more weight. Because you wont get bulky, you wont suddenly hulk out overnight, and you wont look like a dude. You will get stronger, and you will see much faster improvement than you imagine. Maybe not for everyone but I also feel physically better after a good weights session, much more so than after a similar cardio session. 

So onward we go. I could have done better but I still feel I’ve done well. I don’t have a work out buddy any more (though The Boy is often in attendance at the same gym at the same time) and although the camaraderie was nice it’s maybe better this way. Get in and get on then get out. 

My September 2014 goals? To be running a comfortable two miles outside, to have mastered deadlifts and to have the kind of ass one would expect from 1000+ squats a month. No more weight or size goals, that just makes me too sad. I’ve even taken some undies shots to monitor my progress and no, I’m not going to post them until I have some more flattering ‘after’ shots!

A harsh truth, lightly told. I like it. 

Update of sorts

I have neglected this blog. Yeah, I’m always saying that! But anyway, what’s been happening?

I’m about 3kg down since Easter, which is good I suppose but nowhere near as much as I have been aiming for. For the most part I’ve been getting two reasonable gym sessions in per week but the road running has stopped again due to recurrence of previously documented spaz leg issues. I feel fitter, my measurements are slowly going down and I’m sticking to a lower carb diet and I’d say my eating is clean 90% of the time. 

I’m maybe not drinking enough water, need to up that. 

Oh, I’m also as depressed as hell :-/ Like, random bursting into tears for no reason depressed. Yes life is slow and I’m broke and I hate my job and I’m starting to hate everyone around me who has something I don’t. Yes I’m feeling bitter and childish. I want a holiday and some new clothes (in a smaller size that I actually fit into) and a new bed and some fun stuff to look forwards to. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh. 

Maybe it is the standard blues that kick in around this time every year with the impending doom approach of my birthday. Yes another July marker to reflect back on a year of pretty much zero achievement. I don’t know why I always feel like this about it, needless to say I have issues. 

Issues that I need to pack in my gym bag I think and sorry about on a treadmill. Feeling like crap about my life on the sofa is one thing. Feeling like crap about my life and losing 300 calories at the same time is something else entirely. Need to move. 

But I know some things are improving, just slowly slowly. 

That wasn’t very inspiring was it?

Couch to 5k

Back to the road running attempts. Started tonight with the nhs couch to fivek podcast programme as it was recommended to help my pacing.
Nice little episode, warm up then sixty second run followed by ninety second power walk. Times eight.Didn’t really tax me too much as I tend to do fifteen to twenty mins at a time on the treadmill but I still felt it.
So did my knee :-\ ice packs for now but I’d recommend this for people starting or returning to running.
It’s called the Nhs couch to 2k, free on iTunes.

Stayed in bed and didn’t go to the gym. Feel like Crap now, both literally and figuratively. Shit.

I’m just starting with the interval training, wont be looking for weigh in or body fat percentages until next week but I’ve already seen a decent stamina increase and felt good after today’s work out, where as the first time I tried it I thought I was going to puke and/or have a stroke throughout. 

(Source: fiti-vation, via selfcontrol-is-everything)

A curious and arguable progress.

Well life goes on, as do my fatgirlfit efforts. 

Weight loss is still at a zero despite keeping up my gym visits. It fell off for a bit the week before last but I’ve been in for the last three mornings and even managed the best part of a seriously slow fifteen minute run today with no apparent spaz leg issues. Don’t give a shit? Well I do, I was really pleased and pretty surprised with myself for managing it. I could have gone on I think but the fear of my knee popping combined with limited work out time won out over the curiosity of how far I could go and made me move on the exercise bike. It’s been genuinely great to feel like there is some palpable progress with the healing process. Beyond the absence of mind numbing pain that is. 

I dwell on the negative though, yeah I’ve lost no weight and I wont be signing up for any marathons. But hey, I’m running again, and I’m starting to see a definite firming of legs, arms and chest. A bit more squat dedication and my arse will surely follow suit eventually. But the biggest step forward seems to be, shock horror, in a startling down turn in my own personal shame. I’ve been working on my own inner loathing for many years, let me tell you but the efforts of recent weeks have seriously dampened my ability to worry about other members of the human race realising how grotesque I am. I mean, I have a flubby belly and I sweat a lot during activity. My bingowings wobble and my hair is bad and from the side with no make up on I look totally like my 59 year old father. But you know what? You’re not so fucking perfect yourself. I don’t care, if you don’t like it you don’t have to look. I’m not saying I’m happy with how I look, I’m not, but I’m trying and I’m not going to be ashamed about it any more. I’m no monster. I’m not squealing with terror in the corner of the changing rooms any more, hiding behind my towel and struggling to get changed without ever exposing more than six square inches of flesh at a time. Sod that. 

Not that I’m poster girl for body confidence all of a sudden, far from it, there were tears on a solo clothes shopping trip this week but with patience and more work will come more results. I believe that for the first time in a long time. 

Plus, on that shopping trip I might not have liked how those clothes looked, but they were a size smaller than expected. So there. 

Tearing my hair out?  Maybe not quite literally but in a figurative sense, yes I am. I’m bored. I’m flabby. I’m stressed. I’m sick of little stretches and leg extensions, I want to get outside and I want to move faster than a not quite brisk walk. 
It. Is. Not. Fair. 
Watched the Biggest Loser people doing their marathon last night, it made me feel so crap about myself and my recent diet efforts, and really jealous that those big tubs can get out there and do it if they want to. I WANT TO!!!!!!
The new physio lady had better have some good shit ready for me tomorrow or I predict a tantrum. Or perhaps more correctly, another tantrum. 

Tearing my hair out?  Maybe not quite literally but in a figurative sense, yes I am. I’m bored. I’m flabby. I’m stressed. I’m sick of little stretches and leg extensions, I want to get outside and I want to move faster than a not quite brisk walk. 

It. Is. Not. Fair. 

Watched the Biggest Loser people doing their marathon last night, it made me feel so crap about myself and my recent diet efforts, and really jealous that those big tubs can get out there and do it if they want to. I WANT TO!!!!!!

The new physio lady had better have some good shit ready for me tomorrow or I predict a tantrum. Or perhaps more correctly, another tantrum.